OK, not strictly true. I am no longer freaking out right now, but I was! I had the bookish-freaks over the weekend, over my first Readathon weekend no less. Yes – sweaty palms, hot flush, severe state of panic and all because………I couldn’t find anything I wanted to read! “Arrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!!!!” Now, I understand that to a mere mortal this little episode may seem somewhat banal or maybe even curious (something to be poked and prodded under a microscope perhaps – “is this girl for real?”) but to a bookaholic it truly feels like the world is ending. How can I not want to read anything? Fortunately, it lasted no longer than 24 hours. Unfortunately, it occured on the weekend of the 24-hour Readathon.
It did get me to thinking though. Thinking about all the bookish freak-out’s that I am periodically cursed with:
Exhibit #1
The “I don’t feel like reading anything!” syndrome
Have you ever been surrounded by a mountain of books and still can’t find anything you want to read. You pick one up, a book that only yesterday you would have orbited the moon to read such was your excitment and anticipation for this beauty, only to discard it back onto the shelf whence it came with and sigh and a heavy heart. What starts as lethargy quickly descends into blind panic as you survey the growing mound of discarded books around you. “What’s wrong with me?!!”. I have even been known to read several pages of at least 10 books in a row and then have to deal with the guilt of them all looking woefully in my direction in their freshly assembled heap of cousins as I frantically flip the pages of another, willing it to be the one!
Exhibit # 2
The review-copy mountain
Ahh, the thing that is guaranteed to give any book blogger the shakes! Review books! Now don’t get me wrong – I LOVE review books. I LOVE being contacted by authors and publishers asking if I, me, Boof, would like to read their book. Who me? Really? I’ve only been blogging since December and I still love the thrill of getting that email with descriptions of some as-yet undiscovered gem that hasn’t even hit the shelves. And then when they arrive on my doormat, all wrapped in brown (courtesy of my NBF of course) staring up at me like a child to its mother in that instant bond of adoration, it is like all my birthdays have come at once. I rip open the package and coo, stroke, sniff, and smile lovingly at my new beauty. All is well with the world. Then I go upstairs. And I spot them. All of them. All staring at me forelornely and whispering “I thought you loved me?”. Yep, it’s all my other review copies. Each one anxiously waiting their turn. And I panic! I freak out! How am I going to read all these? What about my own stuff that I really want to read too? Will I let the publisher down if I don’t read it now? What if I don’t like the book? What if I can’t finish it? How will I get the time to read them all, alongside my day job, eating and sleeping? Should I forego a few nights of sleep or maybe skip a few meals? No, I can’t do that – so when then? You see, I’m FREAKING OUT!
Exhibit # 3
The “I’ve got 5,000 books on my shelf but the only book I want to read is the one that another blogger just reviewed and raved about, and I want to read it NOW!”
Ah, another familiar story. I perhaps don’t actually have 5,000 books on my shelf (maybe only 4,000 
) but despite this, why is it always the one that I haven’t got the one I that I absolutely HAVE to have right now! Yes, this happens a lot. It’s the only book that will do. In a feverish frenzy I scour the pages of Amazon and Goodreads looking at reviews of said book, reinforcing to myself that I am right and this is the book I absolutely have to have now. “Everyone says it’s great, they love it, I can’t miss out, I can’t not have it, what if a giant asteroid hits the earth this weekend and then I’ll never know what happened, what if this is destined to be my favourite book and I never got round to reading it, I must have it, I must, I must, just click the proceed to checkout button, go on you know you want to, you’ll feel so much better, ramble, ramble, inchoherant blathering…..”
Exhibit # 4
The five book pile that refuses to narrow down
So I’ve come to the end of my book and I decide to peruse my shelves and remind myself of the delights that await me. I feel like reading some Victorian literature so off comes 3 hefty Dickens tomes. Or maybe a historical fiction book, it’s been a while since I read about anyone at the guillotine. Off come a couple of Jean Plaidy’s and a Phillippa Gregory. Oh, how about a good mystery? I love a good mystery! Down come a few Mary Higgins Clark and some Val Mcdermid for something a little grittier and ooh, don’t forget that new Jo Nesbo as afterall I loved his last book. Oh, wait, it’s been ages since I read anything set in China and that’s one of my favourite genres. I’ll just grab that new Peter Hessler and maybe an autobiography from the cultural revolution era. Or maybe a chicklit – when was the last time I snuggled up with a single woman and her cat renovating a house and falling in love with her nextdoor neighbour? Ages ago, that’s when. Off come the Katie Ffordes and an Isobel Woolfe. Ahhh, that ought to do it. Only 14 books to narrow down.
OK, so maybe not the Dickens, that would take me weeks and there are just too many books. That leaves eleven. Maybe not the cultural revolution memoir either, I need something a little more uplifting. Ten. I’ll put some of the Katie Fforde’s, Mary Higgins Clark and Jean Plaidy’s back too, I only need one by each. Six. OK, the Jo Nesbo too – I just read one of his, so time for a change. Five.
Five.
Five.
Five!!!
Why can’t I narrow it down? I want to read them all now!
Three hours later:
This sounds so familiar! Not for the review copies, because I don’t have any, but apart from that it’s like you went into my head and figured me out
.
Iris, I think I have entered the head of all bookaholics. Le sigh.
I’m having “I don’t feel like reading anything” syndrome right now :\ The two books I’m reading are going slowly, and absolutely nothing on my tbr mountain seems to appeal to me at the moment. Sigh.
Isn’t it an awful feeling, Nymeth?
Yes, yes, yes, and… yes. I know the feeling — all four!
Ahh, I knew it wasn’t just me! I am not alone
)
i would say ,i have indecision sometimes what to read but only for a few mins ,i don’t get many review copies and those i do i read near published date to put my review up as soon as
A few minutes? Stu, you’re not one of us!
I’ve never ever felt anything like this.
I hope your good at catching liars
Brilliant post
Ha ha, I knew it couldn’t be true.
Ohhhhh !!!! Boof I know why I love this blog so much……It is because all the feelings you describe here are so, so familiar it feels as if we were twins somehow, it is scary !!!!!
Everything you write in this blog describes precisely me, the frustrated Virginie in front of her many shelves crumbling under the weight of her books, undecently high piles of thrillers, biographies, classics, novels, gothic romances etc…trying desperately to find something I want to read right now although I have tons& tons of books unread yet.Some people have the same problem with their wardrobe and can never find something they feel like wearing because they have too many clothes.
We suffer of the same symdrom except it is applied to books.
To be real honest I have not read your post entirely yet, just bits of it but I definitely agree that we are kindred souls and it is so comforting.I will read and appreciate the whole stuff tonight after diner.
When we go on a trip my husband always goes “How come you take so many books , you won’t have time to read them all ? ” and I go “It is just in case I don’t know which one I want to read,Darling, I really NEED to have a large choice……”
I took four books for our trip to The Loire Castles (it was absolutely wonderful by the way) I knew I could not possibly read four books on a 5 day intense trip but I had to take them with me.
And I bought a book in almost every castle gift shop there !!!!!
We are far beyond recovery Boof aren’t we ?
Love, Virginie
Ahhhhhhhhhh, I knew we were kindred souls!
And yes, we are DEFINITELY beyond recovery, LOL.
That’s exactly what I do on holiday too – I have started having to hide books in different places in the suitcase and my handbag etc because I need to have enough choice when I am there. I always, without fail, have a book crisis when I am there too – why oh why oh why didn’t I pack this one or that one??? (and yep, I buy one in every book shop I see too – it’s the law on holiday). I giggle to myself when my husband looks at my 5 books in the front compartment of the suitcase and says “Why do you need all these? Are you planning on not talking to me for the whole holiday?” but what he doesn’t know is that I have secreted another 4 or 5 inbetween towells and flip-flops! LOL.
)
Apart from the review copies (I hardly ever accept them because, well, I am lazy), this is the story of my life. Especially the narrowing-down thing. What I normally end up doing in these situations is putting all five of them at various places all over my apartment, and then reading each one depending on where I am. If I’m waiting for food from the microwave I’ll read the kitchen one; if I’m cleaning my teeth I’ll read the bathroom one. Unfortunately I never end up FINISHING any of them with this method…
Jenny, that’s genius! GENIUS!! Oh, wait – you don’t finish any of them? Maybe not genius, then but still very tempting.
No, I do! I was exaggerating. I do finish them, eventually. I just end up in a situation where I’m not finishing anything for a whole week and then all of a sudden I’m finishing up five books at once. Not great for blog reviewing.
I hear you and I relate. I have been very selective about review copies because reading a book I’m not in the mood for can be disasterous. I whine. A lot. My family then wants to stab me and put me in hole in the backyard. Then they remember they would have to cook their own meals and back off. Still, they don’t like me much when I whine. I am addicted to buying books though. I got a call that my van needs a new transmission. I hung up and what did I want to do? BUY BOOKS. It’s a sickness I tell you. But it’s a delightful, bookish sickness:)
Brenda, LOL! I must learn to be as selective about the review copies and curb my whining as I don’t want to end up in a hole in the back garden either.
It is a sickness for sure!
Ha, this post really made me laugh. I totally get what you mean though!!
You describe this dilemma so much better than I did.
The non-readers in my life (my husband specifically) cannot understand why when I have so many books scattered about that it sometimes takes me so long to decide what to read next. I compare it to him flipping through the channels on TV looking for something to watch, but he doesn’t appreciate the analogy.
It’s nice to know I am not alone in my indecision.
Ok.. well.. LOL I read this post after just finding your blog and was seriously considering asking you to review my book. But I guess after reading “Freaking Out” and seeing how many books that you get sent, my book would probably end up on a shelf, collecting dust, and waiting for you to either become very bored (which doesn’t seem to happen), or for my book to become famous enough on other blogs to intrigue you.
I love to read and to write but my book was written more out of a healing process after my teenage marriage ended after 12 years. So I’m new to the “book review” process. I’m only trying to have strangers read my book to give me an honest review. So many people I know and family have read it and I always get the “I couldn’t put it down” response. While I’m sure that they are being honest, they probably can’t put it down because natural inclination is to be curious about your neighbor or your friend or someone that you know first hand and my book has a lot of intimate details of my life. I’m interested in what people think when they don’t know anything about me at all and they read my book.. that is why I sought out and found your blog.
I think there are many other authors like myself who are searching for “book lovers” reviews…. and we’ll send our book to anyone willing to read it to tell us what they think regardless of their professional background, whether they have ever edited a book, or if they have any “authority” at all. It just feels good hearing the validation that “your book is good”.
Of course sending my book to critics (which I have yet to do, but it is early since my book was just published Feb, 2010)… is bound to lead to a negative review. So I ask myself.. is it worth begging book critics to read my book only to potentially get a major let down if they don’t like? On the other hand, do I want to be one of those desperate authors who is willing to pay a critic for a good review.
“Have you ever been surrounded by a mountain of books and still can’t find anything you want to read.”
Yes. I can’t explain this strange phenomenon either. Luckily, it only lasted 10 minutes.
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